The Wiener Turner

We went to a barbecue with Rachel's work colleagues today. It is an annual event to do with welcoming new grad students, and there is a competition to bring the best Wiener cooking system (think campfire and sticks with marshmallows). Our entry was the "Wiener Turner":



(Get it? There's a picture of Tina Turner attached to the tongs? Get it? Ahahaaha!)

Actually some of the Canadians were a bit mystified because the way they say "Tina" (Tinah) and "Wiener" (Weenerr) don't rhyme the way they do with an Aussie accent.

Alas, we didn't win the prize. In fact we were dead last out of the five entries :-( Ahead of us was the "Hands Free" which was Phil Gander with a piece of coat hanger wire attached to his belt buckle in a suggestive manner (the wiener jokes were coming thick and fast). Then third place went to the "Barbie-cue" which was a wiener stick made out of a Barbie-accessory fishing rod and tackle box (where the condiments were kept). Second was the Peter Jensen's "Baby Love" which was an amalgamation of bits bought from dollar shops, including a broom stick handle attached to a weird-shaped wire picture frame meant for baby photos (hence the name) - which you use by sliding your falafel patty (the entrant was vegan) in where the photo would go and holding the apparatus over the fire (I'd like to point out that Peter only successfully cooked one out of four patties this way, losing the other three into the fire). The winner was from one of the academic's children who had a Bo Peep shaped stake from which a wire coat hanger (original shape) hung. She claimed you could cook a hotdog at the same time as toasting a bun, aided by a piece of strategically placed alfoil to enhance the heating. And because you just drove the stake into the ground near the fire, it was also hands-free.

So we were totally outclassed! After seeing the other entrants demonstrate their contraptions, I had to think up a special feature for the Wiener Turner on the spot, so I explained that, because you had to hold the tongs (and your arm) so close to the fire, you would know exactly how hot the fire was!

(At least I got a few laughs from the audience...)

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This post brought to you by the Society for More Movie Quotes about Rutabagas (SOMMQAR)

Padme: "Oh Anikin, you've grown!"
Anikin: "So have you m'lady. More rutabaga that is."