The Wiener Turner

We went to a barbecue with Rachel's work colleagues today. It is an annual event to do with welcoming new grad students, and there is a competition to bring the best Wiener cooking system (think campfire and sticks with marshmallows). Our entry was the "Wiener Turner":



(Get it? There's a picture of Tina Turner attached to the tongs? Get it? Ahahaaha!)

Actually some of the Canadians were a bit mystified because the way they say "Tina" (Tinah) and "Wiener" (Weenerr) don't rhyme the way they do with an Aussie accent.

Alas, we didn't win the prize. In fact we were dead last out of the five entries :-( Ahead of us was the "Hands Free" which was Phil Gander with a piece of coat hanger wire attached to his belt buckle in a suggestive manner (the wiener jokes were coming thick and fast). Then third place went to the "Barbie-cue" which was a wiener stick made out of a Barbie-accessory fishing rod and tackle box (where the condiments were kept). Second was the Peter Jensen's "Baby Love" which was an amalgamation of bits bought from dollar shops, including a broom stick handle attached to a weird-shaped wire picture frame meant for baby photos (hence the name) - which you use by sliding your falafel patty (the entrant was vegan) in where the photo would go and holding the apparatus over the fire (I'd like to point out that Peter only successfully cooked one out of four patties this way, losing the other three into the fire). The winner was from one of the academic's children who had a Bo Peep shaped stake from which a wire coat hanger (original shape) hung. She claimed you could cook a hotdog at the same time as toasting a bun, aided by a piece of strategically placed alfoil to enhance the heating. And because you just drove the stake into the ground near the fire, it was also hands-free.

So we were totally outclassed! After seeing the other entrants demonstrate their contraptions, I had to think up a special feature for the Wiener Turner on the spot, so I explained that, because you had to hold the tongs (and your arm) so close to the fire, you would know exactly how hot the fire was!

(At least I got a few laughs from the audience...)

--

This post brought to you by the Society for More Movie Quotes about Rutabagas (SOMMQAR)

Padme: "Oh Anikin, you've grown!"
Anikin: "So have you m'lady. More rutabaga that is."

classical logical fallacy explained

T implies p

not p implies not T

but it is incorrect to say

not T implies not p

because you could have been drinking something else...

80's (cheese) meltdown

Due to popular demand, here's 10 more cheezy song lyrics for you to munch on! (See post below "Cheezy Lyrics"). Please let us know in the comments how many of these you get!

11.
"Her name is Gouda and she dances on the sand."

12.
"I'm on my way
from Roquefort to Stilton-ness today.
Uh-huh, Uh-huh..."

13.
"Monterey Jack
Monterey Jack
Every single one of us is Monterey Jack."

14.
"Provolone
Before you go-go
Don't leave me hangin' round like a yoyo."

15.
"Bocconcini-ro's waiting
Talking Italian."

16.
"But don't tell my heart
My Pecorino heart
I just don't think it'd understand."

17.
"Oh, what a feeling!
When there's Fetta on the ceiling."

18.
"Edam girl
She's been living in her edam world."

19.
"All for freedom and for pleasure
Nothing ever lasts forever
Everybody wants Romano cheese."

20.
"Eat Mascarpone
We eat, we eat 'scarpone
Eat Mascarpone
We eat, we eat 'scarpone"

--

This post brought to you by Cheese Delivery

If you want cheese
Delivered to your door
You just call
Cheese Delivery.

Order online today at www.cheesedelivery.com

Cheezy lyrics

Rachel and I have a debate going. How easy is it to recognise the lyrics of a song you know if you aren't given the tune? Well, we're going to test this theory with a little quiz. The object is for you, the reader, to try and see if you know the following songs. If you can name the song and artist, that is good, but we're mostly interested if you know the tune.

There's one twist - we've replaced some key words with types of cheese just to make sure things aren't too easy. But we've done it so that the lyrics still scan with the same number of syllables.

Let us know how many of these you get! Some are easy, and others are more obscure - depending on who you listened to in the 80's...

1.
"I just freeze
Every time you see through me
And it's all over you
Tasmanian Blue."

2.
"It's Gorgonzola
Zola-night
You're fighting for your life inside a Gorgonzola tonight"

3.
"I am a man
A simple man
A man of Cheddar."

4.
"How am I supposed to eat this Jarlsberg?
Now that I've been eating it so long?"

5.
"Whoah, he's a Parmesan man"

6.
"Come on baby can't you see
I stand accused of Limberger paninis"

7.
"Everybody's down on their knees
Camembert Cheese
But who needs that
When it's all in your hands"

8.
"Haloumi's made of this
Who am I to disagree?"

9.
"I'm your Mozzarella
'arella for money
I'll do what you want me to do"

10.
"Do to me Wensleydale say Ricotta do
Do it (eat my Brie) Do it (eat my Brie)"

The Dundas Cactus Festival

Still catching up on posts...

A couple of weeks back, after we got back from Montreal/Ottawa, Dundas had its annual Cactus Festival. Summer festivals are big around here and many of the small townships have them. It helps with tourism a little, and with small business commerce as shops can set up stall in the main streets. And everyone here seems to love parades...

The Dundas Cactus Festival parade went right outside our house! Here's proof:

The parade was quite something! It went for 45-50mins, and included 5 (or was it 6) marching bands, two of which had bagpipes (extremely cool!). Can I remember who they were? The Salvos, the police band, the scouts, the Burlington somebody's, and another one. There were a number of other musical acts too, eg 3 orbands mic'd up on the back of a semi-trailer, and a couple of local dance troupes with boom boxes. The parade also serves as some small-scale advertising for local businesses, which went to varying levels of effort from having a painted van through to having a horse and buggy or float of some description.

Lots of people turned out on the street to watch. Forgi and I sat on our porch eating seasonal watermelon and drinking home-made ginger beer!

I'm just looking through my photos to see what else there was - and it's too many thing to put photos up of everything. There was: an out-house on wheels; a kendo demonstration; a cactus made of balloons; a troop of footsoldiers in the traditional red and white army fatigues; a white limousine; several floats from the "Rameses Shriners", a men's club where you need to be a senior Mason just to join (they wear those Egyptian "fez" hats); a half-dozen go carts zooming around; a trailer with 5 people on exercise bikes; a clown; and the local fire truck

BTW, the whole "cactus" bit relates to a cactus that used to belong to a local plant shop. But it closed. And the cactus moved somewhere else. But they still have the festival!

Mike and Jan are back in town again. We'll get them to do a guest blog on Niagara Falls shortly! Bye!